29 principles of recovery that helped Alex navigate his own struggles with addiction. He is publishing them publicly in the hopes that they may prove useful to others in recovery as well.
Reflect on your intrinsic motivations for change — things that go beyond any external pressures or expectations from others. Identify and honor your core values. It is ultimately just you and you.
Recognize that recovery is a journey, and is unlikely to be perfect from the outset. Learn from lapses without judgment, for progress takes time. Be gentle with yourself and with others. We all deserve it.
Attend support group meetings regularly, with just as much consistency when you're having a terrible day as when you're feeling secure in your recovery. They provide ongoing motivation, accountability and community — and while you won't need to attend them forever, it's better to attend a few unnecessary meetings than return to your old habits because you lacked community and support.
Find new hobbies and interests to fill your time in a meaningful way, especially if boredom is a trigger for you.
Surround yourself with a like-minded support network. Bond with others who understand your struggles. Exchange contact info when you build a connection with someone else. Stay connected — you have an army of latent supporters all around you.
When you experience cravings or urges, do not suppress them. Accept and observe them mindfully. They, too, will pass.
Be honest with yourself about what behaviors or substances are problematic for you. Total abstinence from all substances can be helpful, but it isn't the optimal approach for everyone. Similarly, moderation can work for some, but we must be honest with ourselves if our experiences indicate that we're not one of those people. There is no one-size-fits-all recovery.
Set clear boundaries with friends and family around your recovery needs. Don't be afraid to opt out of events/activities that could jeopardize your progress. After all, some FOMO in early recovery is probably a good thing — rest assured that there will be plenty of fun and joy ahead.
Challenge distorted thoughts when you are struggling. Ask yourself: is this thought helpful? What evidence contradicts it? How else could I view this situation? Observe any shades of gray.
Learn to identify emotional triggers and find healthy coping mechanisms to deal with challenging feelings like anxiety, shame, anger, etc. You will never avoid them, so it may be wise to treat them as old friends. Seat them at your dinnertable, but do not let them monopolize the conversation.
Make self-care a priority every day, whether it's exercise, meditation, journaling or anything else that supports your wellbeing. It feels good to feel good.
Find purpose and meaning by helping others. Consider volunteering for a cause you care about.
Let go of perfectionism, and be kind to yourself on the tough days. Progress is not linear, so do not expect it to be.
When you face a setback, avoid catastrophizing. Reframe difficult experiences as learning opportunities. (They are.)
Build in some daily rituals and routines that keep you grounded. Stability is important for any long journey.
Open up to supportive friends and loved ones about your recovery, whenever you feel ready. The shame and isolation of silence are breakable chains. And if you go through life clutching a secret behind your back, you can only ever hug the world with one hand.
Educate yourself on addiction and recovery using evidence-based resources like the SMART Recovery Handbook. Good data can be remarkably practical, but neglect not the data of your own experience.
Make a long-term vision board to clarify your goals and values, and refer to it whenever you lose motivation. No one feels inspired and driven all the time — in fact the clinical term for that is mania.
Deal with problems head-on whenever possible. If you don't have the energy to do so right now, make a plan for a specific time in the future when you will take care of it.
Notice negative thought patterns without judgment, and gently shift your thinking to something more balanced and helpful. Remember that we are always watching the Netflix of our own life — if you don't like what you're watching, you're holding the remote.
Recovery requires daily maintenance. Like going to the gym, you must keep at it with some discipline. Worry not that it will go on forever, but it will certainly take some time.
Ask for help when you need it — in meetings, online communities, or real life. You need not walk this path alone.
Accept with self-compassion wherever you are in your journey today. Comparison is the engine of despair.
Let go of resentments towards others — they will only stunt your growth. Oh, and forgive yourself while you're at it. We are all, quite literally, doing the best that we can with the knowledge and resources we have in any moment. Reflect on that fact when you notice judgment arise toward yourself or others.
Progress is what happens when perfection takes a breath. Recovery from addiction takes time, effort, and love. Do not be discouraged by setbacks.
Surround yourself with positive influences, and limit exposure to people and places that may trigger your old behaviors.
Don't let a slip become a relapse. Get back on track with renewed commitment as soon as possible, and learn from the experience with a sense of genuine curiosity about what happened.
Believe in your ability to craft the life you want to live, one small step at a time. You really can do this, and I know you will.
Be gentle with yourself, for life is often hard. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here.
These principles are just the beginning. Let's work together to put them into practice.